The play begins at a girls slumber party. A pillow fight, teaching Gramma to play Truth-or-Dare, teasing a brother, a prank phone call, pizza delivery -- all pretty normal except for the appearance of door-to-door bean salesman and associate, who leave behind a briefcase containing a mysterious book. The Table of Contents lists three stories:

  1. Don't Clobber the PeeWees

  2. The Princess' Treasure Hunt

  3. Fatticus Atticus

Suddenly a strong, unseen force sucks the girls and Gramma into the book! Trapped inside, the girls realize that the bean salesman's seemingly nonsensical slogan, "Read three, be free," must mean their way out is by reading the book's stories.

The Stories

Don't Clobber the PeeWees

Once upon a time there was a group of happy elves who lived in a forest. They loved to play their favorit game, Cha-Cha. One day the Moyor, accompanied by her dog, introduced the elves to some new friends, the Pee-Wees.

They all played happily together until a sneaky rattlesnake convinced an elf named Elfie to try a new game. It was called "Clobber the Pee-Wees," which involved hitting them on the head with a clobberer. The rattesnake said the Pee-Wees would like it. Elfie played the new game and the Pee-Wees got hurt. the Mayor warned Elfie not to play Clobber the Pee-Wees any more or she would have to put Elfie in jail.

The rattlesnake told Elfie about a game called "Pound the Pee-Wees," which he said was a completely different game. Even though it seemed like the first game he taught her, Elfie believed him.

When the Pee-Wees got hurt again, Elfie explained to the Mayor that this game was Pound the Pee-Wees, not Clobber the Pee-Wees, which she had promised not to play.

The Mayor warned Elfie not to play any game that hurt the Pee-Wees, no matter what it was called. The rattlesnake tried to convince Elfie to play the game again, using many different names for the same game. Elfie refused. Frustrated, the rattlesnake clobbered the Pee-Wees and the elves himself and then quickly handed the clobberer to Elfie, as he disappeared.

The Mayor thought Elfie was to blame and started to take her to jail. Just then her dog discovered the hiding rattlesnake. The elves and Pee-Wees explained to the Mayor what really happened. The Mayor let Elfie go and took the rattlesnake off to jail. The elves and the Pee-Wees played Cha-Cha and they lived happily ever after.

The Princess' Treasure Hunt

Once upon a time there was a lonely Princess. She sat in her castle and wished she had someone to play with. Just then a Bird flew in her window. While playing hide and seek with her new friend, the Princess discovered a treasure map.

The writing on the map was in a strange language. When the Princess wished she could read it, her Fairy Godmother appeared. Translating, she said the map pointed to a great treasure, but there were two challenges that had to be overcome.

The first challenge was the Forest of Curses. Three sorcerers and their slave elf, had put the Opposite Curse on the forest. When the Princess, Bird and Fairy Godmother arrived at the Forest of Curses, they saw the Skinny Man and his cat running throught the trees without touching anything. The Princess tripped and touched a tree, picking up the curse. She now expressed herself so that when she meant "love" she said "hate" and vice versa. After some confusion and hurt feelings the Fairy Godmother figured out a spell to undo the curse and the quest continued.

They came to a bridge guarded by Big Fat Dummy and his Frog. Across the bridge they could see the treasure. Needing a password to get by, the group asked Big Fat Dummy and his Frog what it was. "I don't know," they replied. Frustrated the group concluded that even if they guessed the password, Big Fat Dummy and his Frog wouldn't know. Finally the Princess realized that "I don't know" was the password. However, this only resulted in the moving of the Frog while Big Fat Dummy was still blocking the way across the bridge. There was no password to get by.

The Skinny Man and his cat arrived. The Skinny Man told Big Fat Dummy why being skinny was better and Big Fat Dummy told the Skinny Man why being fat was better. Provoked Big Fat Dummy began to chase the Skinny Man leaving the way clear. The group crossed the bridge and got the treasure. They celebrated and shared the treasure with everyone and they lived happily ever after.

Fatticus Atticus

 In the castle of Czar Fatticus Atticus lived the Mystics. One day they received a psychic message of truth from the great beyond "If the Jest does come, the world will be done!" While the meaning of the message was not clear, it was the truth.

Fatticus Atticus was very powerful. He maintained his power by devouring all who displeased him. This made him very fat. Getting around required the help of his loyal gnomes.

One day Fatticus Atticus' mother, who suffered from a multiple personality disorder, made a request of her son. She asked him to get her a jester.

Fatticus Atticus could not refuse his mother and he agreed to have the Alchemists create a jest for her. This alarmed the Mystics, who feared that if the jester were to be completed and accepted, it would mean the end of their world.

The Alchemists and their assistant began work on the jester as ordered. The Mystics, using psychic abilities, tricked the Alchemists into installing the wrong voice box. The jester did not speak English. When Fatticus Atticus and his mother arrived, the jester could only be understood through the questionable translation of one of the Alchemists.

Begging not to be devoured, the Alchemists promised to fix the problem. The Mystics, however had different ideas. They psychically made the Alchemists work so slowly that all they had time to do was remove the wrong voice box. They could not install the right one in time. When the Czar and his mother returned, the Alchemists tried to save themselves by having their assistant speak unseen, while the jester moved his lips. This trick worked and the Alchemists asked for a few more minutes to get th ejester ready to go.

In thsoe few minutes they managed to install the correct voice box, but the Mystics deactivated the jester's arms. One of the Alchemists tried to fool Fatticus Atticus and his mothe rby acting as the jester's arms from behind him, but soon the trick was discovered.

To everyone's surprise the Mother decided she liked the jester even without the arms and announced that she would take it. The happiness was momentary as the prediciton of the Mystics came true! Things began to shake and rattle. Was their world coming to an end?